Saturday, February 3, 2007

Death Defying- Oprah Style

Ok, the end of this episode has one of the STRANGEST, CRAZIEST throwaway quotes- I can't wait to talk about it. But let's start at the beginning:

"Teddy-Bear isn't a very manly (name), but..."

And there ya go- that's why this guy DEFIES DEATH by eating termites, jumping into frozen waters, bites fish's heads off, eats raw eggs, eats dead zebra carcasses and fights off sharks-

Because they called him "Teddy Bear"

So, instead of becoming an over-weight, furry, cuddly guy, he became "BEAR" and has his own SURVIVAL TV show.

And for the ladies- he got naked. I wanna get all those oohs and ahhhs when I get naked!

And then came the ELECTRIFYING experience!

Did you SEE those pants?
Bleeding out of his EYE?
Wait- 30 MILLION volts?

and what does he say?

"It hurt really bad"- They are friends for LIFE now!

Good thing he was praying to God to help him and his friend out of it:

"Dear God, please send someone to save us from the lightning you sent"
"Dear God, please help me to remember the CPR so I can save the friend you killed"

Yes, I sound cynical, but so what?

By the way- Flash Avalanches are why I don't ski.

Ok, Ok, also because I'm Latino- I like BEACHES, not SNOW.

Speaking of Latino, then Mr. Diaz's story- The 747 that not only tried to take off in a storm, but WENT DOWN THE WRONG WAY?????

So then he tells us his whole story- and you can tell how profoundly scary that must have been. He mentioned the other people being engulfed, and screaming, and heat. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone.

Well, maybe Kim Jong Il.

So here's where the craziness started:

Oprah asked if he felt his survival was "divine", as in if he thought whether or not his escape was ordained somehow, and he said no.

But THEN he started saying that he saw "lights" leaving people's bodies, and he was convinced that it was their souls. He later said that he'd been changed in that he is now more empathetic towards people, and that he wants his aura to be as bright as possible.

and then he said it:

"I'm trying to get my aura much brighter than all of yours" !!!!!

WHAT????????????

Is getting your aura bright a COMPETITION???

Well, I guess to some. I write about that idea more in my personal blog.

No comments: